Sunday, 8 February 2009

Is it tomorrow yet?

And I'm asking the question not because I don't know what time it is but because I keep putting things off until tomorrow.

I can guarantee that come the late evening when I'm on my own with a coffee, the television and my trusty laptop with only my dog Spindle as company, I get to thinking about how to make my life better. Out come the ideas for the next money making scheme that won't cost me anything to start up, the great promises to my body that yes, tomorrow I will change the diet/start exercising/get a new way of thinking.

Then I go to sleep only to wake up feeling like I've been hit by a bus and only barely manage to get myself out of bed to let the dogs out and feed both them and the guinea pigs.

I'm glad I've got the animals or I'm sure I'd not get out of bed some days. That is the curse that is Fibromyalgia, no matter what your mind tells you, if your body feels like every joint and muscle has set like concrete overnight there's only one thing you can do, take things very slowly and gently move each joint in turn to 'break' the concrete. OK I know there's no real concrete in there but I swear I can feel the crumbling as I move and it's quite painful! If it's a good day a couple of painkillers and keeping warm will move the process along so I can be mobile within an hour or two, on a bad day I manage to get to the bathroom and back. On bad days you just have to accept it and hope it's better tomorrow.

I think of myself as a positive person, I keep busy helping at a local animal sanctuary if I'm able. I paint, I draw and of course look after my two teenage sons that are still at home. I remember how good it was to get up and go to work, mix with real people, business people and public alike. That was almost four years ago now and I'd love to go back but no one wants someone who 'might' be there, if my joints haven't 'set' overnight! So I look at different things to keep me busy and maybe one day make my fortune. I like to do portraits of pets or peoples homes so my latest idea was to do some hand painted miniature landscapes and still life paintings for dolls houses but looking on e-bay they only sell for a pound or two at best so don't think that will make me my fortune.

I'll keep thinking, one day.. one day.. tomorrow...

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